How Will I Know?
by Cursed Blessing
Summary: In an alternate universe, where the Sound Trio does not die, Uchiha Sasuke finds a companion in Tsuchi Kin. Sasuke comes up with a plan to free them both, but will it work? One-shot.


**Author's Note:** Okay, this fic might be somewhat strange, and it is a one-shot featuring the strange pairing of Uchiha Sasuke and Tsuchi Kin. It is in a somewhat alternate universe….and when I say somewhat I mean that most of the story is the same except for the part where Orochimaru kills the sound trio….but he still succeeds in killing the Hokage….sigh just go read the fic hahaha, I can't really explain right now. Oh yeah, this will be like 2 years later….like after Sasuke goes to find Orochimaru, so this makes Sasuke, what, 15 and Kin is about 17. They only have a two year age difference….so don't start freaking out….if you a apt to lol

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto.

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**How Will I Know?**

"Sasuke-kun?" Kin said softly, as she reached out to Sasuke. She could see his fists clench, and it looked as though he were trying his best not to lash out on her and anything else. Kin pulled her hand back when she noticed his fist trembling slightly. Just then, without warning, he drove his fist into the wall, leaving a hole where his fist had just entered.

A defiant and determined look dawned upon Kin's face. "Sasuke," she said more confidently. "You have to control your anger." Once again she was motioning to put a comforting hand on Sasuke's shoulder, until he turned his glare at her.

She stopped in tracks, looking into his garnet eyes. The anger visible in his eyes was enough to make her want to run out of there. But she knew she couldn't. She didn't want to. His eyes held her there frozen, she could feel the air stop in her lungs. He released hold of her stare, when his eyes drifted down to the floor, observing the pieces of wood the cluttered near the damaged wall. Slowly, he closed his eyes. They both stood there, in the silence.

Kin noticed that he looked less tense now. With a heavy exhale, Sasuke turned his gaze towards Kin once again. His eyes were looked less menacing, now that they returned to their normal ebony color. His hands dropped to his sides, as he straightened up.

"I have to do this, Kin," he finally said in a rather calm voice, but Kin knew he was talking around his anger and hate. His eyes drifted down again, but Kin just stood there, captured by his speech. She wanted to hear him out. "You have no idea the hate I felt when I heard Orochimaru talk about him. I wanted to run out that very moment, to hunt him down and kill him. But I knew my anger would just cloud my vision, it did once before, and I suffered with that defeat ever since. Now I am confident that I will defeat him."

"So…you're just going to leave?" Kin demanded, trying to keep herself calm as well. "Just like that?"

She was trying her best to fight back her own anger. How could he just decide to leave, just like that, she wondered to herself. Especially, after we said we would leave this hell together. Her thoughts drifted towards Zaku. It was too late for him, she knew it. He has been long exposed to Orochimaru's twisted ideas, he was already corrupted. But Sasuke, she admired how he wanted to do without any unnecessary help. He kept his own will power strong. It was Sasuke that helped her fight the darkness of Orochimaru, or at least give her hope to resist. But how could she resist power?

"All I needed from this god-forsaken place was power, and now that I have that," Sasuke began to explain as he moved closer to Kin, "I'm going to leave before Orochimaru decides that he will take my body. I heard them talking, Kin. Sometime soon, he's going to transfer himself to me. I won't stand for that. I won't be some tool, not while I have my own goals to worry about…my own dreams and ambitions."

Kin clenched her teeth, trying to stop herself from yelling. Instead, she spoke through her clenched teeth, almost hissing at Sasuke. "That's so typical of you to be so self-absorbed. Did you ever stop to wonder the hell I had to go through living here? Yah, I did choose this. And just like you, I did it for power. Isn't that why we're all here?" Kin could see Sasuke lowering his eyes a bit, but before he could say anything in reply, Kin went on. "I lost somebody that I cared for, he's lost to Orochimaru's darkness, and soon I know I will be too. And I almost was, until you came…and now you're just going to leave." She shook her head, turning her gaze away from Sasuke's.

She could feel him close, his arm slid around her waist, pulling her close to him. "Kin, if anything, your persistence also saved me." She could feel the cool touch of his fingers brush across her cheek. Gently, he turned her gaze back upon him. She looked up to him, apathy on her face.

"We'll just call it even," Kin said coldly. "And say we saved each other. Now don't you have somewhere to go."

Kin began to get irritated when she saw him taking amusement in her statement. She pursed her lips together, in a pout, and shifted her eyes away from him. Sasuke pulled her closer.

"I had to debate with myself, whether or not to tell you I was leaving, but now I'm beginning to think I should opted for not telling you," Sasuke spoke softly. He smiled at Kin's attitude. "But at least I would be able to see that adorable pout of yours, before we left, 'cause who knows if you would become upset later." He grinned when he saw the shock on Kin's face.

"What do you mean?" she questioned him. "'Before we left'?"

"I didn't want you to have to suffer," he confessed, then closed his eyes as he held her close. "Or worse, become one of Orochimaru's experiments."

"Who would have thought you actually cared about somebody," Kin mused aloud. "And to think all this time I thought you were a negative human being."

Sasuke pulled back slightly to look down at Kin, "My thoughts on you exactly."

Without hesistation, Sasuke leaned down ever so slightly to kiss Kin. The kiss was chaste at first, but then more intense. His hand ran down Kin's arm, taking her hand into his. His lips left hers, planting light kisses as his lips moved down to her neck. She closed her eyes, and lifted her one free hand up to his shoulder. At each kiss, her hand would tighten slightly, as her fingers lightly dug into his shoulder, grasping loose cloth. Their kiss was ended short before anything more to could happen. The knock at the door repeated itself once more, only louder this time around.

Kin looked past Sasuke at the door. With a sigh, she looked up to Sasuke. "I guess you have to go now."

"Tonight," Sasuke whispered into her ear. "It was going to be one last time to be with you." Kin knew what he really was saying. _I'm leaving tonight, and I'm not too sure what's going to happen._

"How will I know?" Kin inquired in the same tone. "What if you don't defeat him? Are you just going to hope that he leaves you hanging by a thread of your life?"

With a sigh, Sasuke pressed a folded piece of paper into Kin's hand. Kin could feel the pressure of his lips on her hair, as he planted one last kiss. Without a word, he left her apartment. Kin heard the door close, and she stood there, frozen for moment, but then felt the paper in her hand. Slowly she unfolded it, afraid that it would crumble at the slightest pressure. She swallowed hard, as she read the letter Sasuke left her. Quickly her eyes scanned the words, trying to find some meaning. Nothing seemed to register. She knew it was suicide for him, but still she had to believe that he would set them both free.

She looked up to the ceiling, letting out a heavy sigh. Then she looked down at the letter again, and reread a few lines:  
_If I do defeat him that will just prove I am stronger than him. You will have nothing to worry about, I will look after both of us, and if Orochimaru does try to come after us, he won't have the needed power. We will both be free.  
_She stopped there. Tomorrow, Orochimaru will notice that Sasuke is gone. He keeps his little vessel close to him.

'And he just expects me to trust him,' Kin cursed nobody in particular. She thought to herself, 'What if he does lose, and I end up running away from the village for no reason? Orochimaru will have me killed immediately. No, I have to trust him. He promised me.'

Sure enough, the next day, Orochimaru had the village on outlook for Sasuke. Kin was called for along with other nins to scout around the village perimeters. She leaped up to land on a tree limb, and stood there looking out to the surrounding dark forests. Sasuke's out there somewhere, she told herself. She looked up to the bleak sky, it had rained last night, but the clouds kept coming. It looked as though it would rain again today. Later tonight she would slip out of the village and head for the location Sasuke had decided on in the letter he left her.

She crouched down, getting ready to jump for the next limb. Suddenly, she felt a hand rest on her shoulder.

"What're you thinking, Kin?" the voice asked her. Kin knew the voice was Zaku's. "You aren't hurt that Sasuke betrayed you, are you?"

"Of course not," Kin lied, as she stood erect.

She turned to face Zaku, but neither one said anything. Without any cause, he embraced her, "I'm sorry, I can't be what you wanted me to be." With that said, Zaku continued on his search for the "traitor". When she returned to Orochimaru's building, she was shocked to find some of the jounin there waiting for _her_. They took her from the others, leading her down the dark halls of the building towards Orochimaru's office. Her heart began to race. Why is he summoning me, Kin wondered to herself.

When she got there, she found Orochimaru watching his monitor screens with Zaku standing at attention not too far from him. Right away, she realized what this was about.

"I've been waiting patiently for you to arrive," Orochimaru said in an unerringly calm voice. "How was your luck in finding my apprentice?"

"Not successful," Kin lied.

"Amusing," Orochimaru wondered to himself out loud, "I heard from other sources that you know exactly where Uchiha Sasuke is. As a matter in fact, this," he held up a folded piece of paper in his hands. "States exactly what he is planning to do, and what you where planning to do. Tell me, are you going to leave_ me _to meet your lover there?"

Kin looked with surprise at the paper in Orochimaru's hand. 'How?! I had the paper with me, unless…yes, Zaku must have taken it from me,' she told herself.

Orochimaru walked over to Kin, whom had already composed herself and kept a stoic appearance. "Kin the thought of you betraying me, is really quite surprising," he said with a hint of dark humor. He circled around behind her. "And I can't have traitors serving me." At that moment, Kin felt a seering pain surge through her body. Her eyes widened with shock. Slowly, she looked down to see the katana pass right through her, blood dripping from its tip.

When he pulled out the katana, Kin dropped to the ground, her breathing heavy. Slowly, she tried to stand. "Now, if I thought you were needed, I would leave you as you are, letting you suffer with the temporary wound," Orochimaru said with spite evident in his voice. "But I have no need for you at the moment." He looked over to Zaku, "I want to see at how she is able to hold up against the others. It has been a while since they had any 'fresh meat'."

Zaku was fighting to keep his disgust and anger hidden. He watched as the two jounins picked Kin up off the ground. She clutched her wound. Before being dragged out of the room, Kin exchanged glanced with Zaku. The look of hate in her eyes hurt him. He had not meant for her to suffer like this. He wanted her to be punished, but this was far more than he ever wished for. He just wanted Kin for himself.

Orochimaru spoke to him, but Zaku never responded. He turned his attention to the screen when he heard a roar of cheers. He watched as the two jounins threw Kin's body to the ground. He watched as he saw the dark figures emerge from the surrounding darkness and move towards Kin, whom had already picked herself up off the ground. She may not have been skilled, but she was resilient. And he loved her for that. He closed his eyes, when he saw the first of the dark figures pounce on her. Through the mix of yells and grunts, Zaku could discern Kin's scream as it seemed to echo throughout his mind.

"Dispose of the body," Orochimaru instructed through an intercom. Then he turned to Zaku. "Well done, Zaku. Now, let us go to this place they were to meet, and greet our traitor. He will get what punishment is coming to him. I can't let my vessel just walk out of here." He began to laugh his menacing laugh.

A few hours passed, and still Orochimaru, Zaku, and a few other shinobis waited at the opening of a dark cave, out of the rain. It had started raining before they got outside, but the rain never held up. The image of the mortally wounded Kin kept flashing before his mind, and her scream haunted his ears.

Finally, getting impatient, Orochimaru decided to just send various teams out to scout for him. Uchiha Sasuke never showed up at the cave. Even if they had waited at that dreary cave all day and all night, he would never show up. Not ever. Not now that his body lay dead in the dark forest. The rain had long ago washed clean his body of blood.

Uchiha Sasuke would never meet Tsuchi Kin at the cave. Tsuchi Kin would never know that he did not show up, nor would Uchiha Sasuke discover that his lover was killed brutally by Orochimaru's monsters. They would be two lovers lost to each other forever, just because they wanted to pursue something important to them – freedom. Only Abumi Zaku would be left, tormented by guilt that he would never admit to. He would never admit that he was jealous of Uchiha Sasuke. But he would admit that he loved Tsuchi Kin, but never out loud.

The sky kept pouring rain for the remainder of the day. A single bird could be heard singing somewhere within the forest, lamenting for the tragedy that happened that day. Zaku stood there, looking out the forest, feeling some remorse for Uchiha Sasuke, and the fact that he would never have Kin. Yet, somewhere, deep inside, he smiled at the work he caused.

Tsuchi Kin and Uchiha Sasuke. Lost to each other. Forever.

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**A/N: **Well, i tried to make this pairing seem plausible...but i also wanted to make this a tragedy as you can tell. I hope you liked it, so please review, so i can get the needed feedback. I need feedback people!!! lol also, I tried my hardest to keep them in character....you have no idea lol, wells... 

Thankies for reading!!


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